This is the beginning of an article in the NY Times yesterday by a fellow psychologist, Alison Carper.
I’ve found myself wondering lately which of my patients were lucky enough as children to play hide-and-seek with their parents. When it’s played as it’s meant to be, it’s such a delightful game. Kids ask to play it, though, only when they’re confident that they’ll be found. In that way, it’s a bit like psychotherapy: Only when patients feel hopeful that their experiences and feelings will be understood does the work begin in earnest.
We all need to hide sometimes. We need to go into the private space of our mind and take measure of our thoughts. We need to enter this space so we can reflect. And then, having done so, we long to be discovered by someone who’s looking, someone who really wants to find us. If we never have our feelings known and accepted by the people who are important to us, then hiding is no game; it’s a way of life.